


Sound of Silence

by Siremele



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11840757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siremele/pseuds/Siremele
Summary: “Grief loves the hollow; all it wants is to hear its own echo." Hisham Matar





	Sound of Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Sons do Silêncio](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11098182) by [Siremele](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siremele/pseuds/Siremele). 



Wolfgang could see white, bright, artificial light above him, and the unmistakable sterile smell of a hospital. He was perplexed by his mother's attitude; he was already used to her rejection, but to allow someone to violate her own daughter's head was something that reached new levels of absurdity. And where was her father? He bragged about loving unconditionally the family he had built. But what kind of love was that, that would not allow him to respect his daughter the way she was? Her father's contempt was visible when she went through the process of gender reassignment because he stayed completely away from everything - an _unnatural procedure_ , he said, then. Such contempt was even more visible now, when Lawrence pretended not to see the barbarity to which Janet was submitting their first-born, delivering her defenseless, wrists immobilized by the containment belt, into the hands of Dr. Metzger.

The white light was no longer white, the air was hot and dusty. Besides Wolfgang's arms, his feet did not respond either because they were barefoot and ached because of the incessant walk. His belly ached because of hunger, his head ached because of the sun, his heart ached to see his pregnant mother eating dirt. _The baby is asking for it_ , she said, and then the two walked hand in hand again. Pregnant zebra's puppies do not ask their mothers to eat dirt.

Wolfgang's eyes could not open, and a damp, sticky darkness surrounded him now. He wanted to see where he was, but he couldn't, and this only bothered him until he remembered why he should not open his eyes. In front of his eyelids was Sarah, his biggest fail, and he knew it without needing visual confirmation. The childish skull was open, her memory was ready to tell him to be quiet - _don't look into his eyes_ , she would say, softly, offering him the protection he, helpless, could never offer back.

Moving or seeing was no longer so important, however. Not when all Wolfgang could feel was shame for the broken promise. The only thing she needed to do was to take care of Joong-Ki. Nevertheless, she was absurdly close to stuff his head with a steel bar, an antipodean attitude to what she should have. He had destroyed her life. However, what is the value of a daughter who is unable to keep the one and last wish of her dying mother?

Wolfgang's lungs, at least, should be working fine, but they were not. The weight and heat of the lehenga around her body, the cheerful and festive decoration, the expression of pride on her parents' faces, the first steps taken by the couple, Rajan's hand in hers, all of that prevented the oxygen from entering satisfactorily. If she could go back at that moment, would she? (and what about her family?) If she had chosen not to marry, would her heart be calmer? (and what about her happiness?) Would there be any scenario in which the losses brought by her choices would not haunt her forever?

The flashing lights almost blinded him now. Breathing was still difficult. He could see the people crowded in front of him, photographers wanting to catch the indecency of the couple that made the tabloids that week. Two syllables. _Faggot_. It was hard to breathe when everything he fought for, the dream he had achieved, was there before him, destroyed, reduced to a curse word, as if this word could sum up and define all that he was and could ever be. _Nazi_.

Rare and cold air. The blinding light was now natural, reflected by the impure white of the snow. Wolfgang's arms were still motionless, heavy, enveloping the bones as small and delicate as a puffin's. It was her fault. She was cursed, everything she touched turned to ashes. The cold skin of the little arms and legs stole the warmth of her soul and weighed as much as the fragility and inanity of life. She had no right to even a simple breath of happiness.

Wolfgang woke up with a strangled sound, a mix between a cry and a sob. There was no one around him, and it took him a few seconds to come back to his senses that he was actually a captive in a fucking BPO secret base.

_It was just a nightmare_ , he tried to comfort himself. All the shit he just saw was past, echoes of already overcome pains. Bad dream. Everyone was fine. Kala was fine.

Wolfgang wanted to make sure everyone was well, but they were definitely absent from that indescribable space between self-perceptions and the consciousness of others, usually within the reach of a thought. The complete lack of them provoked nausea in Wolfgang. How could he make sure they were, really, well? In a wave of fury, he tried to force the bindings in his arms, in his head, but all he did was to change the sound pattern that some technological shit around him emitted.

"Fuck."

He was trapped, his thoughts were silent, lonely. _Blockers_ , Wolfgang thought, but he could not get relief from that notion. What if something terrible had happened while they were using blockers? What if Kala had been captured? What if the nightmares that woke him were a collective call for help? What if someone had died?

Silence.

Wolfgang struggled as hard as he could, feeling claustrophobic and powerless inside his own skin. Soon he heard footsteps and a door opened, and the hatred that possessed him would be enough to kill any masked man in front of him with his bare hands. But he was still tied.

Wolfgang watched as one of the people checked the machines, another one pointed a gun at him, another one prepared a syringe, and he forced himself to stop struggling, tried to force himself to relax. Perhaps the cluster concluded that a sacrifice was needed for the greater good, and he had been left behind for it. Unlikely. He wished they were not stupid enough to try for a rescue. Kala, innocent, would want that, and Will, with his stupid hero complex, would try; now Wolfgang could only hope that Sun's good sense was able to control the situation. If Kala was fine, if all of them were fine, he would not complain about being left behind.

Before the drug injected into his neck made him unconscious again, Wolfgang could only hope that Felix was safe, too.


End file.
